Cafcass: Friend or Foe

I was green.

I didn’t know what the process was - why would I - and from the moment I was thrust into the world of being a MOSAC (mother of sexually abused children), I was always ten steps behind what was happening to us.

If I hadn’t been in shock, I would have gone into work mode, researched, planned, and strategised, but I was in a constant state of delirium, and trying to function and do the basics was challenge enough, particularly as I wasn’t sleeping or eating (at one point, I hit under 8 stone, so started to force-feed myself Mars bars).

I met my first Cafcass officer at court appearance No. 1, and I realised then that this was someone who got it, immediately saw the failings of the social workers, and wasn’t afraid to stand up in court and tell the presenting judge that he thought as much.

I didn’t meet another one for a while after that, not until we had another couple of court hearings under our belt and were approaching the first fact-finding hearing, and as with the angel that looked out for us and found us our barrister, it was the same with our Cafcass officer.

He got it. He was normal, he cared, he was pragmatic, and he treated me like an equal, which was something in very short supply.

Our first interaction was before the fact-finding, coming to meet us at our home before attending a supervised contact centre meeting to observe how my daughter was with HIM. Rocking up in biker leathers, he was gentle with them both, going through some exercises on his laptop to find out how they felt about life at home and familial relationships, which meant he wasn’t a complete stranger before the contact session.

I was also fortunate that my ex is a fuckwit - clever and wily in some ways, but in others not realising his arrogance was palpable - and the contact centre worker was, as usual, stupid. Apparently, as I read in the contact centre notes, the contact supervisor left my daughter with him unattended to go to the bathroom (not allowed, as they have to watch everything), allowing my ex to whisper in my daughter’s ear. I believe the Cafcass officer was shocked, although he’s probably seen this before, especially as my ex whispered to my daughter thinking he wasn’t being observed.

It meant that there was no danger of the wool being pulled over his eyes in the same way as with the social workers; the Cafcass officers were way ahead of the social workers in everything.

With the fact-finding, the Cafcass officer has to file a position statement (as all parties do) with recommendations. They also attend court hearings so that the children are represented. In court, the children have their own legal representation and work super closely with Cafcass to present what is best for the children, so the officer works really closely with the children’s barrister.

This really helped me and my children, and their role as advocates for my children really helped support the case.

I wasn’t always in agreement with their recommendations, but with a triumvirate of legal counsels it did help mitigate the ‘he said, she said,’ and as this is Cafcass’s and the associated legals’ bread and butter, they know what is legally possible in terms of outcome.

I was also really fortunate that we kept the same Cafcass officer all the way from the beginning to now (I won’t say end…) as it meant he became familiar to my children and built a good relationship with them. It helped my daughters know he was on their side in court - they naturally became super anxious when I had to go and hated the fact that I would have to see HIM in court (although my eldest did relish hearing about his court fuck-ups and my death stares).

Our Cafcass officer came into his own in the last court appearance. Like me, he had sat in countless sittings, hearing the lies spun by HIS counsel, aspersions against me (and the Cafcass officer), legal delaying tactics, and downright cruelty. In the last fact-finding hearing, when he gave evidence, I really saw how much he despised and detested both HIM and his counsel.

The advocacy Cafcass had, the way they had my daughters’ backs, was really illuminated when Coco was meeting with him during one of the last meetings before the fact-finding hearing. She was asking him about court, what the judge was like, and he explained he would be speaking on Coco’s behalf. She piped up, in what I thought was pure naïveté, that she would like to meet the judge.

In my head, I thought this must be ridiculous. But he replied, “Of course, I will see what I can arrange.”

And so she did meet the judge.

It was arranged that she would come towards the end of the day during the fact-finding hearing - tbh, I thought she had only asked so she could miss a school day with an exotic reason for her peers, and probably for a great TikTok. It had to be with Cafcass, her solicitor, and the judge.

She loved it and held court, literally. It seemed to really help her processing of what it was and where it was, seeing it for herself, not just as an abstract place where she would see me go pinched, stressed, and on return likely downing Vino Tinto to support the processing. What’s more, Coco charmed the judge, who in her closing remarks said that Coco was “a delight and a credit to me.” I’m sure for the judge, it must make a huge difference to placing a face behind the court bundle.